The revealing of my Husbands past sins leaving my marriage and myself completely and utterly broken. I made the decision to forgive as He forgave. But I was still left with the insecurity, distrust, anger, bitterness, and so much more. The pain of a broken heart and covenant. I wanted it all gone, but I didn’t or couldn’t let it go. The first week the Lord began careful intensive surgery. He took away my broken heart all of it!!! Praise the Lord, thank you Jesus! He didn’t stop there I was lead in the spirit to sow some of my most personal sentimental belongings one of them being my wedding ring. I struggled for three days, thinking it can’t be.
But every morning I felt the pull, the tug to do so. That day as worship was taking place; I had to leave for the lobby I wanted to leave, to go home, my flesh cried out its too hard. I spoke but Lord this is a symbol of my marriage it precious. Then I heard very clearly yes, it’s a symbol of an old broken covenant. That day as the offering took place I told my husband and I sowed it. That was the day something broke in me. As worship took place and Pastor Todd prayed I was on my knees in front of the stage. As I pressed in, I desperately wanted to receive. But I kept telling him I wanted it to be real not something I could do or understand.
Isaiah chapter forty-one verse ten, is a scripture that the Lord has placed in my Spirit ever since I’ve been here at The River Bible Institute. The scripture says, “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” The revelation I have received of this scripture has made a remarkable difference in my life. Since I came to The River Bible Institute, the Lord has been operating on my heart and He’s continuing to do so each and every day. He has shown me that as He takes a step, I take a step, right alongside Him. He’s walking with me and I with Him!
Many things have taken place in my life in the past three weeks. I have been reminded that I am on the right track and following the Lord’s plan for my life. I have learned how to submit my life, in it’s entirety, and put all my trust in the Lord, even in the small areas of my life. He has emptied me of every fleshly desire and began to impart to me the plans He has for my future, one by one. I have been filled with the fire of God and have been able to tell other people of the goodness of God and lead them to the Lord! I have had the opportunity to lead teenagers, single mothers and young adults to the saving knowledge and power of Jesus Christ, which has brought overwhelming joy to my heart! The things that I have learned here, in the past three weeks, I am ready to take back to my hometown and tell others about!
Since my arrival at RBI, I have had the Lord do some awesome things in my life. According to, during the first week of class when Pastor Rodney was speaking to us via Skype, he began to pray over us asking that the fire of God would fall. Immediately my body started shaking and I began to cry and weep as I felt the power of God. While this was happening I heard God say very loudly, “Shake nations”, “Shake nations”. It was so powerful; it was as if I felt the voice of God even in my bones. It shook me. A couple of days later when Pastor Daniel was preaching during the RBI revival week, the fire of God was falling on everyone again. And I heard God say, “I’m sending you to the nations”.
Again I began to weep and cry and I was beside myself. Another powerful moment I had was when pastor Adonica was sharing her testimony about when she got the joy. After she gave her testimony, she was laying hands on all the students and when she prayed for me, the joy of the Lord exploded on the inside of me. I had a breakthrough in that area of my life, because I had allowed circumstances to rob me and steal my joy.
I have also received another breakthrough in the area of giving. My wife and I had sewn almost everything we have and God still keeps providing for us. We sewed our wedding rings on a Sunday morning and when my wife got back to her seat a lady gave her a ring with diamonds across the top of it. There is so much more could say. To God be the glory.
Wow!! “This is only the beginning.” Is all I hear Him saying, and it’s overwhelming something I can’t even fathom, His love, His purpose, His dreams, and His vision for me. I have found myself at His feet multiple times since being here at River Bible Institute. I don’t even know how to explain the pure love I feel for the first time. I do know though, it’s real, without a doubt and like nothing I have ever felt, a deep intimate love of a Father, for me. He is restoring our relationship and my heart, showing me He was close to me through it all. I’ve just never ever felt so worthy and loved. I am more than enough, I am pure in Him.
Since here I have been living by complete Faith and it is exciting, just learning and allowing Him to be my all I depend on, my provider. I am in awe. I’m having trouble just explaining this feeling in my heart, even as I type this, but I just know it’s Him (the fire of God). God is relentless, and when He wanted all of me, He wanted every part of my life. And when I said yes, to the call, and got on a plane in complete faith, in my spirit I felt Him saying “Kaitlyn, you better get ready! Cause I’m about to move in your life.” I just see and feel Him shifting my life back in alignment with His. He knew what I was getting into! Hahaa, and I can’t stop saying YES, and expecting!! It’s no longer my watch I run on; I’m on God’s time. Kait T.